Raven leads a discussion about what led her to finding more joy in small moments, despite being a pessimist. She also shares personal and general benefits of practicing gratitude and appreciating simplicity in life.
Email us: reachout@unstrugglingpodcast.com
Unstruggle with us on social media!
https://www.facebook.com/unstrugglingtogether
https://twitter.com/UnStrugglingNow
https://www.instagram.com/unstrugglingnow/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_2MdAcmUaGq2uN-FuzmMg
And check out this article for more on the benefits of simplicity in life
5 Things That Prove Simplicity in Life Increases Happiness
https://www.powerofpositivity.com/simplicity-life-increases-happiness/
Raven: | I'm Raven and I'm OLD Lady Dodge. |
| This is UnStruggling, a podcast where we give Simple steps for mental wellness and bring some positivity to your day OLD Lady Dodge. Do you find that sometimes it's the seemingly minor things that make you upset? | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | Yeah, some days. But, you know, as I've gotten older, it's easier to let things go quicker and not get upset at every little thing. And, you know, it could be because I'm 61 and I realize I'm closer to death. I'm just kidding. Well, wait, that is kind of true. Life perspectives change as you age. At least for me, they did. |
| Hey, Raven, what would be an example of a minor thing that would upset you? Your life is so full of challenges. Being blind. Every day so much would set me off with daily challenges being blind. You amaze me. How you handle it? | |
Raven: | It's something that a lot of people consider minor that really makes me have a nuclear meltdown. As I like to say is when I can't find stuff easily, like somebody moves things from where I leave them, or if they don't put something back in the place where it's usually located, that makes me angry because, you know, it's not as easy for me to just look around and glance around and find things. |
| But yeah, when stuff gets misplaced, that pisses me off. And then little things like that happen. One thing after another, and that accumulates into kindling for a fiery rage. | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | And I haven't seen that side of you, but I haven't known you that long. |
Raven: | The good thing is, it's also the little things that can make me happy, or at the very least, content and bring me fulfillment. Today we are talking to you all about finding joy in small moments and the benefits of appreciating simplicity in your life. First, I want to give some back story into how I came into this. In 2017, I decided to be deliberate about finding a way to enjoy living. |
| I had been surviving and struggling through every waking moment of every day with depression and thoughts of wanting to stop existing. | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | You know, Raven, I have to tell you, thank you so much right now for sharing this with our listeners, because there's a lot of people out there that do have depression and want to give up and not exist. And this whole episode is going to help someone open up and know it's okay to share their thoughts and feelings on depression and reaching out for professional help. |
Raven: | Yes. And fortunately, I did reach out for help. I found a therapist who was able to help me help myself. And one of the first simple steps for mental wellness I learned in therapy was to notice and appreciate the seemingly insignificant moments of every day that I found uplifting or pleasing or soothing. And I like a challenge. So I wanted to find out how many of these little moments could I actually find, because, of course, as a pessimist, I'm like, There is nothing, right? |
| Every day sucks. | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | We're going to swing you around from that, baby. |
Raven: | Okay, well, I had to keep reminding myself to notice these moments, but when I did, there were a lot of them. My first sip of coffee or tea in the morning, nothing like that. First sip. |
OLD Lady Dodge: | That's true. Maybe a little glass of wine in the evening too. But yeah, that first cup of coffee and tea in the morning. Yum. |
Raven: | I also appreciated the soothing sounds while taking an early morning walk with my dog. I really liked the nature sounds, my dog's footsteps in the leaves and him sniffing in the grass. And of course, it uplifted me to notice that my dog was happy cooking a meal or just enjoying good food. The peaceful quiet of my apartment, I really like quiet, no noise, which is very unsettling to me. |
| And the fact that I had my own apartment is one of those things that we just don't take time to appreciate. Look where I am in life and consider that a privilege. Also, I found joy in the burst of creativity I felt when I'd sat down to write. I did a lot of creative writing at the time that I was in therapy. | |
| Some of it was actually published, y'all. So that produced more uplifting moments for me. Now, what about you, OLD Lady Dodge? | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | I love when someone can turn negatives into positives or notice the positives in their life. I mean, it can turn an entire day around for sure. And you obviously know that now and you seem to be doing that now. Is it tough to continue with a positive outlook every day or trying to look at the little things. |
Raven: | Like anybody else? Some days are harder than others, so there are some days where I can ground myself and draw upon those simple joys I have come to make a habit of taking time to appreciate. And then, of course, there's days where it's really hard to get out of my own head and the bad feelings I have sometimes and remember, like, okay, so there's all this other good stuff you have. |
| Remember that good stuff....There's times where I try to do that and it doesn't work the way I would like it to. | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | Gotta Keep Plugging Away. Got to move forward
|
Raven: | So the benefits I've personally experienced and still experience. Okay, this was huge for me. But improving relationship ups with loved ones or close friends, really taking time to figure out who I can be vulnerable with, who's validating, who's the good listener. It wasn't just about simple joys, apart from interacting with people, but also how I interact with people who I interact with and this was really important because part of my depression and feelings of worthlessness came from feeling like I had nobody who really cared about me or nobody who could relate to me. |
| And another benefit, everybody's going to recognize this because this is what all mental health professionals say. But this is so important, is being present in my positive experiences. A lot of us missed these opportunities to be present in our positive experiences. The anxiety that I had at the time was from focusing on a fear of the next bad thing. | |
| Prior to moving out on my own, my life was just a constant fight and I brought my past struggles with me into my present, fearing that the struggle wasn't over and that it would just continue for the rest of my life. And of course, that made me feel depressed and hopeless. But being present in my positive experience helped me understand I'm not struggling right now and taught me to focus more on the small pleasures and joys and seek them out, rather than constantly thinking about the next bad thing that's going to happen and nothing good ever lasts. | |
| Or don't get my hopes up because you know they're going to be crushed. All those negative thoughts that kept me and keep a lot of people from enjoying existing and in an ongoing state of distress. So how about you, OLD Lady Dodge, have you embraced this practice? | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | I do. You know, you sounded like my husband. We're complete opposite. He's a total pessimist. Negative? Yeah, I'm optimist. Positive. And and as far as embracing stuff,. An example is sometimes we'll go for a walk and I'll say to my husband. Stop right here. Look at me. Now, I would like you to give me a kiss and I want you to remember this kiss. |
| It's something silly like that...just stopping and making a point of the practice of appreciating things. You know, I wake up every morning and I make the choice to be grateful as soon as I open my eyes, before I even get out of bed. And I also make the choice not to regret my life experiences. | |
| I mean, there's things I've done in my life and it's made me the person I am. | |
Raven: | So now that we've talked about how we've benefited from this practice, I want to share with you the general benefits of appreciating simplicity. Cherishing these small moments teaches you to have gratitude for the things you already have, the things you already do. Rather than feeling disappointed, stuck, or longing for the things you wish you had or the things you wish you could do. |
| Focusing on your present reduces instances of feeling frustration, shame, pressure, anger, envy and stress. All those negative emotions. Not that they're bad to experience them, but if we can reduce opportunities for them, that definitely makes a difference. So take opportunities to create more of these moments. Like I said, I don't just appreciate the simple moments, but I seek them out and I think that's really important to do. | |
| It's been proven that gratitude helps people feel more positive and cherish good experiences, which is definitely something we can all do more because a lot of us, if not most of us, we spend a lot of time focusing on bad experiences, things that can potentially go badly or things that turned out badly, and just replaying and repeating those moments in our mind. | |
| But we don't give as much time to savoring our positive experiences or the potential for experiences to turn out positively. Another advantage is gratitude helps us deal better with negative experiences and the bad times that we all will inevitably encounter. Part of practicing gratitude is connecting to what is most important to you. So when things get bad, you have this bank of things people activities. | |
| You can draw positivity from is not going to make the bad experiences magically good, but now you have healthy outlets for your emotion. You have something to look forward to and people you know you can talk to about what's going on, who can maybe help you find practical solutions to your problems and be a listening ear or just a source of validation. | |
| And your awareness of the positive helps you understand that there is a way forward, or at the very least, a way to manage until a way forward can be found. So we just wanted to start this conversation. We want to hear from you people. Listen, y'all better reach out. Do you take time to cherish the small moments and what benefits has it brought to your life? | |
OLD Lady Dodge: | That was fantastic. I have to say, you are a little bit of a positive person because you're making a turn and you're keep trying to do it. Well, it's been great to UnStruggle with you, Raven, and all our listeners. |
Raven: | If you found this episode helpful, please share it and share your thoughts with us by emailing us at Reach Out at unstruggling podcast dot com Connecting with us on social media or leaving a comment on unstruggling podcast dot com. Thank you for listening to unstruggling. |
I'm Raven and I'm OLD Lady Dodge | |
Let's UnStruggle together! |